


Smash Characters on Social Media

by Hip_Neptune



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Star Fox Series, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Smash Brothers, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Humor, Other, Parody, Satire, Social Media, corrin is male, robin is female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-07-12 15:03:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19948144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hip_Neptune/pseuds/Hip_Neptune
Summary: When an idiot gives the Smashers and their friends an Internet connection, they join the Multiverse’s largest social media platform: Instamush. From posting pictures and videos, to status updates and constant drama, what could possibly go wrong? SSBU UNIVERSE!Rated M for coarse and insulting language, as well as mentions of adult themes. It's social media, after all!





	1. Chapter 1

**Mario Mario (@Mariobros) has joined Instamush.**

_Yoshi Dino, Peach Toadstool, Link Hero of Time and 430,472 others like this_.

_Peach Toadstool, Lemmy Koopa, Princess Zelda and 339,218 others now follow Mario Mario._

**Possible family members of Mario Mario:**

**Peach Toadstool (@Peachypie): 381.6M followers**

**Daisy Flora (@Sarasaflora): 208.3M followers**

**Toadette Kinopiko (** **@Pigtails4lyfe): 182.5M** **followers**

**Yoshi Dino (@Dinodude): 159M followers**

**Luigi Mario (@Number1Player2): 141.5M followers**

**Toad Kinopio (@RoyalRetainer): 134.9M followers**

**Catherine Birdo (@Pinkeggsflying): 128.9M followers**

**Wario Wario (@Bobomb13): 66.2M followers**

**Waluigi Wario (@afraidofusernames): 31.2M followers**

\---------------------

**Mario Mario (@mariobros): Hi guys, thx for the follows**

_Luigi Mario, Peach Toadstool, Toadette Kinopiko and 71,671 others like this._

\---Luigi Mario: welcome bro!

_Peach Toadstool, Mario Mario, Yoshi Dino and 2,194 others like this._

\---Mario Mario: glad to be here! This is confusing tho

\---Luigi Mario: Its a habit u pick up eventually

\---Daisy Flora: you pick up a lot of things off here, be careful

\---Luigi Mario: yeah, avoid the rule 34 areas lol

_Daisy Flora, Peach Toadstool, Catherine Birdo and 38,681 others like this._

\---Mario Mario: thx for the advice guys!

* * *

**Bowser Koopa (@KingKoopa) has joined Instamush.**

_Koopa Paratroopa, Boom Boom, King Boo and 692 others like this._

_Lemmy Koopa, Boom Boom, Ganondorf Beast and 413 others now follow Bowser Koopa._

**Possible family members of Bowser Koopa:**

**Wendy O. Koopa (@Travelprincess): 372M followers**

**Roy "Chad" Koopa (@RoyIsRad): 293.4M followers**

**Lemmy Koopa (@Snowmen17): 268.9M followers**

**Larry Koopa (@EoE): 213.5M followers**

**Iggy Koopa (@Madscientist): 194.1M followers**

**Ludwig von Koopa (@CrownPrince): 163M followers**

**Morton Koopa Jr (@247Talk): 150.4M followers**

**Bowser Jr (@KidPrince1): 79.5M followers**

\---------------------

\---Lemmy Koopa: Hi dad!

\---Wendy O. Koopa: Ew! Why are you on here dad?! Not following back, sorry

\---Roy "Chad" Koopa: ya, not following either. stalking **@Peachypie** 's photos again pops?

_Peach Toadstool likes this._

\---Peach Toadstool: **@RoyIsRad** thanks for the warning and tag.

**Peach Toadstool has now blocked Bowser Koopa.**

\---Bowser Koopa: Dammit Roy!

\---Bowser Koopa: Wendy! Why do you have 57,374 selfies on your account?

\---Bowser Koopa: What's that face you're doing with your lips?

\---Bowser Koopa: Are you kissing boys again?

\---Bowser Koopa: Is that a martini in your hand?

\---Bowser Koopa: Or a mimosa?

\---Bowser Koopa: WTF ROY?!

\---Bowser Koopa: why are you taking pictures of your abs?

\---Bowser Koopa: 31,927 pictures of them?!

\---Bowser Koopa: And your arms?

\---Bowser Koopa: you have 28,000 arm pictures?

\---Bowser Koopa: who are all these girls taking pictures with you?

\---Bowser Koopa: why is that brunette sticking out her tongue near your cheek?

\---Bowser Koopa: How many girlfriends do you have?

\---Bowser Koopa: Why is your name chad?

\---Bowser Koopa: oh stars sake I just looked chad up

\---Bowser Koopa: explains everything

\---Bowser Koopa: wtf is wrong with my kids

\---Bowser Koopa: stop begging for attention you spoiled brats

\---Morton Koopa Jr: ironic for me to say this but please just stop typing and log off Dad!

_Wendy O. Koopa, Roy "Chad" Koopa, Mario Mario and 63,284 others like this._

\---Wendy O. Koopa: lol be glad he didn't find his pictures in **@EoE** 's Blackmail album

_Morton Koopa Jr, Roy "Chad" Koopa, Lemmy Koopa and 21,236 others like this._

\---Bowser Koopa: what?

\---Bowser Koopa: **@EoE**! REMOVE THOSE PICTURES OF ME RIGHT NOW!

\---Larry Koopa: Dammit Wendy why'd you gotta tag me, the Emperor of Eavesdropping??

\---Larry Koopa: oh well they're still available on my 12 other social media profiles! The Internet's forever! XD

_Mario Mario, L337 H4mm3r Br0z, Boom Boom and 15,739 others like this._

\---L337 H4mm3r Br0z: l0l B0wz3r r3kt.

_Yoshi Dino, Roy "Chad" Koopa, Larry Koopa and 8,382 others like this._

* * *

**Fox McCloud (@StarFox) has joined Instamush.**

_Falco Lombardi, Slippy Toad, Krystal McCloud and 74,294 others like this._

_Falco Lombardi, Ike Greil, Krystal McCloud and 68,372 others now follow Fox McCloud._

**Possible family members of Fox McCloud:**

**Falco Lombardi (@StarPilot): 281.5M followers**

**Slippy Toad (@ArwingGod): 219.1M followers**

**Wolf O’Donnell (@StarWolf): 202M followers**

**Krystal McCloud (@BlueVixen): 81.5M followers**

**Peppy Hare (@Haretelligence): 77.5M followers**

\---------------------

**Fox McCloud (@StarFox): Not traveling between worlds now, might as well connect with them**

_Falco Lombardi, Peppy Hare, Link Hero of Time and 193,294 others like this._

Falco Lombardi: Oh, sweet joy. Fox is now on Instamush, and he’ll try to whore up the follows. But, I suppose there are positives. At least the idiocy that is Star Wolf can be balanced out.

Wolf O’Donnell: Who you calling an idiot, you stupid duck?

Falco Lombardi: Who does it look like, furball?

Wolf O’Donnell: Man, I really want to drag you to the Galaxy.

Falco Lombardi: Is that a threat, little mutt? You think you’re smart enough to defeat me? You’re too stupid to even be someone’s service animal.

Wolf O’Donnell: Oh, please. I’ll blow your stupid beak in you idiot.

Falco Lombardi: Yeah? You’re dealing with the greatest Arwing pilot here, furbrain.

Slippy Toad: Sheesh, Fox created an Instamush 5 minutes ago and he already has a fight on his profile.

Peppy Hare: He must avoid it!

Peppy Hare: Do a barrel roll!

_Falco Lombardi, Fox McCloud, Samus Aran and 742,578 others like this._

* * *

**Marth Marcellus (@LordAltea) has joined Instamush.**

_Chrom Ylisse, Lucina Ylisse, Robin Ylisse and 555,555 others like this._

_Chrom Ylisse, Robin Ylisse, Roy Eliwood and 474,802 others now follow Marth Marcellus._

**Possible family members:**

**Lucina Ylisse (@LucinaY): 300.4M followers**

**Ike Greil (@SpicySteaks): 277.8M followers**

**Roy Eliwood (@RoysOurBoy): 242.6M followers**

**Robin Ylisse (@ShepherdsFTW): 221.9M followers**

**Chrom Ylisse: (@Chromium): 211M followers**

**Corrin Anankos (@NinjaWyverns): 196.8M followers**

**\----------------------**

**Marth Marcellus (@LordAltea): The Rapture’s coming, as I’m now on Instamush.**

Ike Greil: So, you decided to come on, Marth.

Marth Marcellus: yep, wanted to see how everything was like

Corrin Anankos: You’ll love Instamush! The news here is the highest quality!

Ike Greil: Uhh... Corrin, Instamush news is fake news.

Corrin Anankos: why would ppl lie to us tho?

Ike Greil: …

Lucina Ylisse: Corrin, stop being silly, you little goose! XDDD

Corrin Anankos: Stop making fun of me!

Chrom Ylisse: He means well but he’s awfully naïve...

Chrom Ylisse: Anyway, welcome to the family, Marth.

* * *

**Wendy O. Koopa uploaded an album: Seashell City, Water Land!**

_Larry Koopa, Boom Boom, Samus Aran and 146,462,783 others like this._

\---Peach Toadstool: Beautiful!

\---Goddess Palutena: Mesmerizing!

\---Lucina Ylisse: Breath-taking!

\---Samus Aran: I totally need a bikini like that!

\---Boom Boom: so pretty, babe!

\---Kooper Shellun: hey **@RoyalBoss**! Get off my girl!

\---Boom Boom: 'scuse me? Who are you, little twerp?

\---Kooper Shellun: she's my girlfriend, obviously!

\---Boom Boom: Uh, no. She's with me now, squirt.

\---Wendy O. Koopa: **@Kooperologist** stop fighting on my post please or I'll block you.

\---Kooper Shellun: boo hoo, I have your bikini pics saved anyway.

\---Daisy Flora: **@Kooperologist** ew! that's gross!

**Wendy O. Koopa has now blocked Kooper Shellun.**

\---Wendy O. Koopa: How many of my exes do I even have following me?

_Daisy Flora, Peach Toadstool, Rosalina Starr and 32,284,658 others like this._

* * *

**Captain Olimar (@PikminWhisperer):** Sometimes, I wonder how our future will be. How our governments will handle the inevitable conflicts over tariffs, economic sanctions and overall detrimental policies. Politics is such a vital topic in the world. It certainly controls us more than this phony "trending" stuff going on, or some idiotic video about low-IQ individuals pulling pranks.

_Elvin Gadd and Sonic Hedgehog like this._

\---Wario Wario: Shut your face, nerd!

_Mewtwo Mew, Waluigi Wario, Catherine Birdo and 641,783 others like this._

* * *

**Roy Eliwood (@RoysOurBoy):** I’m super nice, but I need to say this! Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I like shopping or clothes! I like battles, sword fights, and long walks on the beach! Stop trying to force me to go on shopping trips because I happen to like guys!

_Catherine Birdo, Chrom Ylisse, Princess Zelda and 28,374,209 others like this._

\---Catherine Birdo: Ugh, tell me about it! It’s tough and even offensive for us transgenders when people automatically assume gay people are feminine.

_Roy Eliwood likes this._

\---Roy Eliwood: EXACTLY **@Pinkeggsflying**!!!

\---Lucina Ylisse: O_O... Since when were you gay?

\---Roy Eliwood: Uhh, since I could remember.

\---Lucina Ylisse: You seemed so happy with Lilina and Lalum though!

\---Lucina Ylisse: Trust me, guy! I’m not judging you or anything! I love you still, friend! <33

\---Lucina Ylisse: But, wow. I never knew.

\---Roy Eliwood: I never dated them! We’re just best friends!

\---Roy Eliwood: Lilina even was the one who helped me come out.

\---Marth Marcellus: He told me about it like five years ago or so?

—-Ike Greil: Three years ago here.

\---Lucina Ylisse: I’m left out of everything... X_X

* * *

**Princess Zelda (@HyruleGal):** Oh my! Link's so adorable. I love him so much! So, we went to this restaurant today, I ordered a veggie alfredo, but the staff gave me shredded beef instead. I was so frustrated, but Link had to calm me down while he confronted the manager. We got our meal for free, but it's so amazing how I have a man in my life who won't hesitate to do anything for me. I love you Link!

_Daisy Flora, Samus Aran, Wii Fit Trainer and 71,753,583 others like this._

\---Daisy Flora: That's so cute!

\---Rosalina Starr: Link’s a great, selfless soul. You're so lucky to have him, Zelda, and you two deserve each other.

_Princess Zelda, Toadette Kinopiko, Luma Starr and 19,651,273 others like this._

\---Bowser Jr: I love you, Mama Zelda! Be my new Mama!

\---Princess Zelda: Ugh. Did your dad send you here?

\---Bowser Jr: I just liked being around you!

\---Princess Zelda: Fair enough. Don't be creepy though. I’ll block you and have Link play darts with your shell.

\---Wendy O. Koopa: Jr's not creepy. Just annoying.

_Princess Zelda, Boom Boom, Ludwig von Koopa and 6,473,283 others like this._

* * *

**Roy "Chad" Koopa uploaded a video: Me bench pressing 2,000 pounds!**

**Roy "Chad" Koopa (@RoyIsRad):** Finally passed that goal of mine! Take a look!

_Wendy O. Koopa, Roy Eliwood, Toodles Rica and 61,482,104 others like this._

\---Mewtwo Mew: Feh. I can do more than that with my psychic powers, but grats.

\---Toodles Rica: Ohh, I'm impressed, you burly man, you. ;)

_Roy "Chad" Koopa, Jolene Mush, Great Gonzalez Jr and 3,721,926 others like this._

\---Mega Man: 2,000 Pounds? That's a TON!

_Roy "Chad" Koopa, Luigi Mario, Larry Koopa and 51,182,302 others like this._

\---Lemmy Koopa: I bet it was a ton of fun!

_Roy "Chad" Koopa, Iggy Koopa, Toad Kinopio and 10,102,485 others like this._

\---Iggy Koopa: I'm guessing the fun pun run begun?

_Roy "Chad" Koopa, Lemmy Koopa, Mega Man and 10,253,294 others like this._

\---Roy "Chad" Koopa: **@Madscientist** yes! dont overrun anyone

_Iggy Koopa, Yoshi Dino, Mega Man and 39,473,495 others like this._

\---Mega Man: C'mon **@RoyIsRad** , don't WEIGH us down!

_Roy "Chad" Koopa, Lemmy Koopa, Iggy Koopa and 37,372,493 others like this._

\---Iggy Koopa: My bad. I had to IRON things out 8)

_Roy "Chad" Koopa, Mega Man, Toodles Rica and 24,473,384 others like this._

\---Catherine Birdo: This is... Possibly the cringiest thread of replies I've ever seen on Instamush.

_Peach Toadstool, Mario Mario, Bayonetta Vigrid and 51,302,917 others like this._

* * *

**Princess Éclair (@QueenDesserts) left a public message to Luigi Mario (@Number1Player2)**

**Princess Éclair (@QueenDesserts):** Luigi, baby, I miss you!

\---Luigi Mario: Éclair? Since when did you start following me?

_Daisy Flora, Peach Toadstool, Bayonetta Vigrid and 6,483,283 others like this._

\---Princess Éclair: I want you back, Luigi.

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: Uhh, who’s this nobody?

_Daisy Flora likes this._

\---Daisy Flora: Excuse me? Who the hell are you?! Get off my boyfriend!

\---Daisy Flora: Luigi! Block her! Now!

\---Princess Éclair: Excuse me, you slut! Luigi is mine! He rescued me, and he kissed me!

\---Daisy Flora: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR BODY INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES, LAUNCH THEM INTO OUTER SPACE, AND THE SUBSPACE EMISSARY WILL SEE THEM AND REJECT THEM BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF CRAP LIKE YOU ARE!

\---Princess Éclair: Oh yeah? XD

\---Daisy Flora: Don't get me started, ho! I'll destroy you!

\---Princess Éclair: Fine! Meet me at the Mushroom City junkyard tomorrow!

\---Lucario Aura: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! 

_Toadette Kinopiko, Mega Man, Fox McCloud and 749,573 others like this._


	2. Fight!!!

**Lucina Ylisse (@LucinaY):** GUYS! I'M ABOUT TO PASS OUT! OMFG I NEED AN AMBULANCE!!! I CAN'T BREATHE I'M SO EXCITED!!!! I GOT ASKED TO BETA TEST BORDERLANDS 3!!!! YES, REALLY! OMFG I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND PLAY IT ON MY XBOX!!!!!

_Iggy Koopa, Robin Ylisse, Villager Boy and 7,483,293 others like this._

\---Morton Koopa Jr: WHAT?! So jealous!

\---Chrom Ylisse: UGH! I missed it by one entry! ONE ENTRY! I'm not taking you to E3 with me anymore!

\---Lucina Ylisse: **@247Talk** **@Chromium** come to my place and I'll let you play it also! Just not today or this weekend because it's ALL about me, baby!

_Morton Koopa Jr and Chrom Ylisse like this._

\---Ganondorf Beast: Stupid video game playing nerds. I hate those pretend-heroes.

\---Bowser Koopa: Imagine having such a crappy life that you cheer about a video game.

\---Lucina Ylisse: Says the guy who LITERALLY had the Star Rod yet still got beat? You're pathetic!

_Peach Toadstool, Princess Zelda, Toad Kinopio and 3,284,309 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Shy Guy (@Maskedninja):** LMS and I'll tell you what I remember about you the most. I'm protected by a monitor and keyboard so I'm not shy right now.

_King Boo, Elvin Gadd, Lemmy Koopa and 3,483 others like this._

\---Shy Guy: ... Wow, this blew up. I'll try to get everyone.

\---Wario Wario: Who cares about your opinion?

\---Shy Guy: 3,486 people do.

_King Boo, Isabelle Canis, Villager Female and 1,638 others like this._

\---Wario Wario: ...

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Little Mac (@1HitKO):** Give me solid proof that we went to the moon. Here's my proof that we, in fact, did not: there's no footage of the moon landing, the rocks "from the moon" were proven fake by a laboratory, and we somehow don't have the technology to go back there? Back then, an entire room was needed to power up a computer with less power than our phones. That took us to the Moon, yet the government claims we don't have the technology yet? I think the government's hiding something. I think we're being invaded by reptilian creatures much like how the Koopas came here, and their base is on the Moon.

_Duck Hunt, Pac Man, Sonic Hedgehog and 2,372 others like this._

\---Captain Olimar: Uhh... I lived there for years...

_Peach Toadstool, Yoshi Dino, Rosalina Starr and 830,473 others like this._

\---Falco Lombardi: I’ve landed my Arwing there many times.

_Fox McCloud, Peach Toadstool, Link Hero of Time and 783,295 others like this._

\---Bowser Koopa: And I kidnapped Peach and married her there...

_Larry Koopa, Bayonetta Vigrid, Lucario Aura and 583,482 others like this._

\---Peach Toadstool: don't remind me **@KingKoopa** , but lol this wasn't thought out well was it **@1HitKO**?

_Mario Mario, Ludwig von Koopa, Elvin Gadd and 496,584 others like this._

\---Wario Wario: Stick to boxing, idiot!

_Ryu Hadoken, R.O.B., Wii Fit Trainer and 9,473,294 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Shy Guy (@Maskedninja) left a public message to King Boo (@BuigiMansion)**

**Shy Guy (@Maskedninja):** I always thought you were cool. Boos are cool because they hide their face like we do.

\---???: Yeah, because theyre COWARDS!

\---King Boo: ... Say that again; this time turn off anonymous posting, coward!

\---Tubba Blubba: Fine! Because youre COWARDS!

\---King Boo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM BLOCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

**King Boo has now blocked Tubba Blubba.**

\---Shy Guy: ... ... ... ... ... Hie Ho.

_Peach Toadstool, Bowser Koopa, Luigi Mario and 84,327 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Shy Guy (@Maskedninja) left a public message to Elvin Gadd (@OldManWhiteCoat)**

**Shy Guy (@Maskedninja):** I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! HOW DARE YOU MAKE A VACUUM THAT SUCKED OFF OUR MASKS! THAT'S RUDE!

\---Elvin Gadd: When writing a sentence, make sure you start the sentence with a capital letter. Afterwards, only proper nouns should be capitalized. Entire words, such as what you've done, shouldn't be capitalized.

_Ludwig von Koopa, Captain Olimar and Iggy Koopa like this._

\---Shy Guy: Oh shut up, old man! It's the Internet!

\---Elvin Gadd: That gives you NO EXCUSE to abuse grammar!

\---Shy Guy: You just did you idiot!

\---Elvin Gadd: Ad hominem attacks are also against debate rules, but I don't expect low-IQ individuals like you to understand.

\---Shy Guy: HYPOCRITE!

\---Elvin Gadd: Quiet down, sissy!

\---Larry Koopa: O.O *Steps away* weirdos.

_Ludwig von Koopa, Peach Toadstool, Wario Wario and 739,573 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Shy Guy (@Maskedninja) left a public message to Lemmy Koopa (@Snowmen17)**

**Shy Guy (@Maskedninja):** You're cool, and the least boring person on this stupid website.

\---Lemmy Koopa: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Shy Guy: But mimes are better than clowns.

**Lemmy Koopa has now blocked Shy Guy.**

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Larry Koopa uploaded a video to the Blackmail album: Bowser crying during his Soap Opera!**

**Larry Koopa (@EoE):** Check out today's **#Blackmail** gold! Bowser Koopa cries while watching Koopa Days!

_Wendy O. Koopa, Mario Mario, Daisy Flora and 52,472,394 others like this._

\---Daisy Flora: LMAO!

\---Peach Toadstool: This is what I deal with every time I'm kidnapped!

\---Mario Mario: HAHAHAHAH! What am I even WATCHING?!

\---Wario Wario: Bowser, you big sissy! Wahahahahahaha!

\---Kammy Koopa: I had to comfort Master Bowser because he couldn't stop crying!

_Larry Koopa, Wendy O. Koopa, Kamek Magikoopa and 682,374 others like this._

\---Lucina Ylisse: Dude! That part of the soap was SUUUUUUUUUUUPER lame!!!

\---Toad Kinopio: Exactly! Stacey belongs with Jacob, not James!

_Lucina Ylisse likes this._

\---Dixie Kong: YES **@LucinaY** and **@RoyalRetainer**!!! That episode just PISSED me off! I'm done watching that show if next episode isn't better!

_Lucina Ylisse and Toad Kinopio like this._

\---Bowser Koopa: ROAR! LARRY, YOU'RE GROUNDED WHEN YOU'RE BACK!

\---Larry Koopa: ...You know I'm right beside you on the couch, right?

_Mario Mario, Lucina Ylisse, Toadette Kinopiko and 18,372,374 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Candy Kong (@Iwantcandy):** Hello, my Monkees! My new album, "Another Wild Sky" drops on Tuesday! Make sure to get it! Special thanks to my boyfriend, Donkey Kong, for the pictures!

_Bayonetta Vigrid, Dixie Kong, Donkey Kong and 172,374,291 others like this._

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: Yes! I love your music, Candy! I can't wait!!!

\---Pichu Pika: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANDY KONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO BUILD AN ALTAR FOR YOU, HANG A LIFE-SIZED PICTURE OF YOU BY IT AND SACRIFICE MY FIRSTBORN TO YOU!!!!!!!! I BEG FOR THE GODS TO MAKE YOU MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER SO I CAN BE AROUND YOU ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR MUSIC, AND I PLAY IT EVERY TIME I'M IN THE SHOWER JUST SO I CAN RELAX!!!!!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE WHAT YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL MAKE SURE TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO BUY YOUR ALBUM EVEN IF I HAVE TO KILL PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: ... Above is a great example of a rabid fangirl...

_Donkey Kong, Bowser Koopa, Lucina Ylisse and 105,372,195 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Roy Eliwood (@RoysOurBoy):** Here at the Mushroom junkyard with my crew **@RoyIsRad** , **@LucinaY** , **@Chromium, @LordAltea** and **@Toodleydoo** watching Daisy and Eclair duke it out! Come on down!

_Bowser Koopa, Roy "Chad" Koopa, Lucina Ylisse and 1,242,573,294 others like this._

\---Toodles Rica: Mmmm, not my favorite fight, but I'm here with my favorite buff men, hmm hmm!

_Roy Eliwood, Roy "Chad" Koopa and Chrom Ylisse like this._

\---Lucina Ylisse: I'm watching this, man! I wish we could make popcorn here!

\---Ike Greil: That was TODAY?! Crap, I'm on my way!

\---Roy "Chad" Koopa: Hurry dude! They're pulling each other's hair now!

\---Roy Eliwood: This is crazy! Eclair's getting beat! She's down!!!

\---Roy Eliwood: Holy shit, she’s trying to get back up!

\---Roy “Chad” Koopa: Look! She’s limping now!

\---Chrom Ylisse: She's back up, attempting to reestablish her otherwise wrecked reputation.

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: Let's go Daisy! Knock the ho out!

\---Roy Eliwood: OOOOOF! Daisy got whacked in the stomach and she's keeled over!

\---Roy “Chad” Koopa: She's back up, and she's angrier than ever too.

\---Samus Aran: Knew we could depend on the Roys for the fight breakdown

\---Samus Aran: Can you stream this?

\---Lucina Ylisse: Let me set up my camera.

\---Lucina Ylisse: Should be good to go! Check my page for the stream everyone! ^_^

_Bowser Koopa, Yoshi Dino, Mewtwo Mew and 597,573,294 others like this._

\---Bowser Koopa: Thanks!

\---Luigi Mario: Why me... Why me... -_-

_Pikachu Pika, Ash Ketchum, Larry Koopa and 418,573,295 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Princess Zelda is now engaged to Link Hero of Time.**

_Roy Eliwood, Rosalina Starr, Bayonetta Vigrid and 291,467,273 others like this._

\---Rosalina Starr: OMG! Call me ASAP!

\---Catherine Birdo: Congratulations!!! So happy for you!

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: REALLY?! OMG! CONGRATS!!!

\---Peach Toadstool: Congrats Zelda! You two are cute together!

\---Wendy O. Koopa: We all knew it was coming sooner or later! =P Congrats, dear!

\---Princess Zelda: **@CosmicPrincess** I agree on the call! But let's do a group video call with **@WitchRebirth** , **@pinkeggsflying** , **@Peachypie,** **@Sarasaflora, @LucinaY** and **@Travelprincess** when I get back!! I need to show you my ring!!!

_Bayonetta Vigrid, Catherine Birdo, Wendy O. Koopa and Rosalina Starr like this._

\---Wendy O. Koopa: I'll be on!

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: Sure! Let me fire up my iPad!

\---Catherine Birdo: Count me in!

\---Rosalina Starr: Same here!

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: Daisy's occupied in a fight right now.

\---Lucina Ylisse: Yep! I'll be on after the fight!

\---Princess Zelda: I saw **@RoysOurBoy** ’s post. Daisy's gonna wreck!

_Roy Eliwood, Lucina Ylisse and Rosalina Starr like this._

\---Diddy Kong: Like this if you saw this coming.

_Wendy O. Koopa, Bayonetta Vigrid, Wario Wario and 208,382,304 others like this._

\---Bowser Jr: Yay! I get a second papa!

\---Bowser Jr: Can I come over, mommy Zelda? We can play fun games together :) ;)

\---Princess Zelda: *Sigh* like father, like son...

**Princess Zelda has now blocked Bowser Jr.**

_Wendy O. Koopa, Mario Mario, Toad Kinopio and 102,201,201 others liked this._

\---Bowser Jr: D: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(!!!!!!!!

\---Wario Wario: Shut your mouth, brat!

_Wendy O. Koopa, Morton Koopa Jr, Mewtwo Mew and 69,372,294 others like this._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Lemmy Koopa (@Snowmen17)** : Just finished watching Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi and Tokyo Ghoul! To my other anime lovers, which ones should I watch next?

_Lucina Ylisse, Robin Ylisse, Roy Eliwood and 4,472,493 others like this._

\---Lucina Ylisse: No way! You watched Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi?! That's one of my favorite yaois!

\---Lemmy Koopa: LOVED it, **@LucinaY**! Ritsu Onodera is such a great character!

\---Roy Eliwood: I'm with you there **@Snowmen17**!He was well-done; I was expecting him to be lonely all this time because of how depressed he was.

_Lucina Ylisse and Lemmy Koopa like this._

\---Lucina Ylisse: Try to watch Hitorijime My Hero, **@Snowmen17** ; it's also one of my favorites. I think you'll like it.

\---Roy Eliwood: Black Lagoon’s also one of my favs. It’s more fighting-based though.

\---Lemmy Koopa: I'll look into both. TY for the suggestions!!

\---Lucina Ylisse: Anytime guy. btw, do you watch dubs or subs?

\---Lemmy Koopa: Preferrably subs; I know some Japanese and I can pick out some words every now and then, so I use subs to better learn it. Plus, dubbed anime loses its feel

\---Lucina Ylisse: I agree! I learned a lot of my Japanese from subbed anime. Good thing you like them because I don't think the dubs were released yet.

\---Wario Wario: What's this gross nonsense?! Yaoi???? That's sick! You weebs are disgusting creatures!

\---Robin Ylisse: Oh, you shut up and go to the gym for once in your pathetic life, fat tub of lard!

_Lemmy Koopa, Roy Eliwood, Wendy O. Koopa and 6,483,293 others like this._

\---Lemmy Koopa: Nobody asked you, baka!

_Lucina Ylisse, Roy Eliwood, Robin Ylisse and 2,387,482 others like this._

\---Wario Wario: I always knew you were gay, Lemmy, like the other weebtards.

**Lemmy Koopa has now blocked Wario Wario.**

\---Lucina Ylisse: I have ZERO tolerance for that CRAP, **@Bobomb13**!!!

**Lucina Ylisse has now blocked Wario Wario.**

**Roy Eliwood has now blocked Wario Wario.**

**Robin Ylisse has now blocked Wario Wario.**

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Lucario Aura (@Jackal):** WTF?! I posted a selfie, yet Instamush removed it for pornographic images??? THEY SERIOUSLY THOUGHT I HAVE A BALLSACK ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD?!?!

\---Wolf O’Donnell: Hah! You T-bag yourself every time you jump! You’re pathetic lmao!

_Wario Wario, Mewtwo Mew, Pikachu Pika and 63,482 others like this._

\---Lucario Aura: IT’S NOT FUNNY!

 _\---_ Wario Wario: Wahahaha! Scrotum-head!

\---Lucario Aura: YOU KNOW WHAT?! I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT MY HEAD LOOKS LIKE! IT’S JUST MY FACEMASK BANDS!

**Lucario Aura has been banned for three days. Reason: Excessive posting of pornographic images.**


	3. Fathers

**Daisy Flora is now in a relationship with Luigi Mario.**

**Daisy Flora (@Sarasaflora):** THAT’S RIGHT! I WON AGAINST ÉCLAIR! YOU DON’T GET IN THE WAY BETWEEN ME AND LUIGI!

_Lucina Ylisse, Roy Eliwood, Peach Toadstool and 68,483,295 others like this._

\---Peach Toadstool: I knew you’d win! You go, girl!

\---Roy Eliwood: Thanks for the AWESOME fight!

\---Lucina Ylisse: The ending was EPIC! I can’t believe the pile of car tires crumbled on her!

\---Daisy Flora: Yeah, it was crazy! It probably tired her out, but the slut has time in the hospital to think things over.

\---Mega Man: CLEVER pun there, **@Sarasaflora**!!! That just rounded off everything!

\---Catherine Birdo: Oh PLEASE, not again with the stupid puns **@ManOfSteel**...

\---Rosalina Starr: Teaches her to try to get into people’s lives. I stopped trying to date Mario after I found out about his relationship with Peach.

_Peach Toadstool likes this._

\---Peach Toadstool: I appreciate that **@CosmicPrincess**. Thank you!

\---Rosalina Starr: Plus, as sweet as Mario is, we just aren’t each other’s types. I’m glad you two are happy though.

\---Peach Toadstool: Éclair could use that lesson. No way someone like her would fit with a compassionate person like Luigi.

\---Daisy Flora: Oh, Éclair WILL stay away. I taught her that lesson, and I’m NOT afraid to teach it again!

_Luigi Mario, Peach Toadstool, Rosalina Starr and 1,283,382 others like this._

\---Princess Éclair: That’s PRINCESS Éclair to you, peasant!

\---Daisy Flora: LOL! Princess of what?! Princess of MY ASS!

\---Princess Éclair: Clever, Daisy. Don’t let that cocky attitude destroy you in the end. :) 

\---Daisy Flora: Hmm, let’s see. Your cocky attitude died, you lost, and I have Luigi. I win, you lose.

**Princess Éclair has now blocked Daisy Flora.**

\---Daisy Flora: LMAO! Daisy’s the winner!

_Wario Wario, Peach Toadstool, Catherine Birdo and 74,284,395 others like this._

* * *

**Mega Man (@ManOfSteel):** Bored. Anyone doing anything before I indulge in **@1HitKO** ’s KoopTube videos on dome-shaped planets?

_Yoshi Dino, Inkling Boy, Rosalina Starr and 6,483,209 others like this._

\---Cloud Strife: Oh, cripes! Don’t commit psychological suicide!

\---Mega Man: But... I’m just SO BORED!

\---Cloud Strife: Why not invent bots?

\---Mega Man: No inspiration right now. Sorta been a long week.

\---Cloud Strife: Fair enough.

\---Inkling Boy: We’re about to go paintballing! You two wanna join?

\---Mega Man: Who’s all going?

\---Inkling Boy: Me, Brawler, Gunner, Duck Hunt and Mr Game & Watch for sure. We need something to do while our girls are at the mall.

\---Cloud Strife: I’ll tag along.

_Inkling Boy likes this._

\---Mega Man: I’m game!

_Inkling Boy likes this._

\---Inkling Boy: Cool! We’re at Ol’ Octolings Arena just outside Inkopolis.

_Cloud Strife and Mega Man like this._

\---Jigglypuff Purin: Annyeonghasibnikka! Nae chingugadoeeo jullae? Naneun widaehan salam-igo ulineun dangsin-i wonhaneun mueos-ideun hal su issseubnida!

\---Mega Man: Umm, what?

\---Cloud Strife: We speak English...

\---Jigglypuff Purin: Naneun yeong-eoleul ihaehago issseubnida! Hajiman algo sipseubnida. jaemie cham-yeohal su issseubnikka? Naneun saeloun chinguleul wonhago saeloun chinguga pil-yohabnida. Salamdeul-i iyagihago jeulgeobge jinaegil balabnida!

\---Inkling Boy: ???

\---Inkling Boy: Just ignore that thing. We’re down here waiting.

\---Mega Man: On my way

\---Jigglypuff Purin: JAMKKANMAN!!!!!!!! Jamkkanman naleul wihae!

* * *

**Pichu Pika is now married to Shulk Xeno.**

\---Shulk Xeno: ??? Who are you?

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: YEAH! SPEAK UP! WHO ARE YOU?!

\---Pichu Pika: OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S SHULK XENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER ME FROM OUR HISTORY CLASS TOGETHER IN SENIOR YEAR???????????????????????? YOU WROTE THE BEST PAPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER WHEN WE KISSED EACH OTHER IN THE CAFETERIA AND EVERYONE THREW THEIR FOOD AT US, SO WE JUST COLLAPSED ON THE GROUND AND CONTINUED KISSING??????????? WE ROLLED AROUND IN THE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS AMAZING WHEN YOU PINNED ME DOWN TO THE FLOOR AND I COULDNT MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Shulk Xeno: uhh I didn’t go to school...

\---Pichu Pika: YOU ARE SO SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DREAM OF MEETING YOU IN DARK ALLEYWAYS EVERY NIGHT FOR OUR RON-DE-VUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Shulk Xeno: oh whoooooooaaaa, I’m feeling the love, but I’m feeling too much of it, y’know?

\---Captain Olimar: “Ron-de-vus"? You can’t be kidding... You mean “Rendezvous”?

\---Robin Ylisse: I’d block her if I were you. She was fan-trolling Candy Kong’s page earlier. She’s batshit crazy!

\---Shulk Xeno: fan-trolling?

\---Shulk Xeno: sec, making food, I'm starvin

\---Robin Ylisse: You’re the most followed guy on Instamush, so she’s targeting you. Candy’s the most followed person on Instamush and she also targeted her.

\---Pichu Pika: I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I MEET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SHULK, I WANT TO KEEP YOU AS A SOUVENIR!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL MURDER YOU, BUTCHER YOU UP, AND KEEP YOUR HEART IN A CANOPIC JAR!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL KEEP THE JAR NEXT TO MY BED EVERY DAY, AND I’LL WHISPER LOVING WORDS TO IT AS I HOLD THE JAR CLOSE TO ME EVERY NIGHT!!!!!!! YOUR HEART WILL BE MINE FOREVER, AND WE’LL BE BONDED FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL REACH INSIDE AND MASSAGE YOUR HEART SO I CAN TOUCH YOUR HEART IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!!!!!!!! I’LL ALSO ELECTROCUTE YOUR HEART SO IT NEVER STOPS BEATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Peach Toadstool: … *facepalm*

\---Lucina Ylisse: … O_O

\---Marx Axrem: … X_X

\---Kirby Dyson: … (>-_-<)

\---Wario Wario: … T_T

\---Falco Lombardi: … -____________-

\---Yoshi Dino: … :O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Mewtwo Mew: ….............................................................

\---Daisy Flora: WTF DID I JUST READ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND’S PAGE!!!

\---Morton Koopa Jr: For once in my life, something on Instamush left me speechless...

\---Iggy Koopa: That’s even more twisted and demented than something I’d say... Holy shit...

\---Larry Koopa: *sneaks back into his hiding spot*

\---Pichu Pika: EXCUSE ME?????????? BAYONETTA VIGRID????????? WHO THE HELL IS NAMED THAT???????? NOW BACK OFF, SHULK IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CALLED DIBS ON HIM BEFORE YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID BEFORE YOU WERE BORN YOU UGLY FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT??!!!!!?? ALL YOU HATERS WILL SEE MY WRATH SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO EVERYONE, KEEP ONE EYE OPEN AS YOU’RE ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL SLAY YOU ALL WHILE KISSING SHULK XENO ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN WE WILL GET MARRIED AND HAVE 739 BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: YOU SHUT YOUR GIANT PIE HOLE!!! WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS! HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE! NOW BACK OFF, SLUT!

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: UGH! SHULK, BLOCK HER! NOW! SHE’S PISSING ME OFF!

\---Sheik Hyrule: Someone get this girl an insane asylum...

\---Goddess Palutena: Everyone, report this psychotic girl for inciting death threats!

\---Greninja Froakie: Oh, I reported her already, and I contacted her local police. Stuff like this is illegal in Johto.

\---Greninja Froakie: I also told her dad Pikachu.

_Bayonetta Vigrid, Yoshi Dino, Mewtwo Mew and 7,483,495 others like this._

\---Waluigi Wario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M AFRAID OF PICHU PIKA!!!!!!!!!

\---Wendy O. Koopa: This is so pathetic... Chick, go away. Nobody wants a nutcase. Bayonetta’s much better than you.

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT! YOU BACK OFF! NOW GO AWAY AND DELETE YOUR USELESS INSTAMUSH PAGE, YOU USELESS, WORTHLESS, CREEPY BITCH!

\---Captain Olimar: Why has Instamush been filled with Boyfriend drama lately?

\---Roy Eliwood: Can we PLEASE have another fight involving **@WitchRebirth** and **@PrettyPichu**?

\---Shulk Xeno: … i get off to make a sandwich and i come back to this? DAMN PEOPLE CAN I EAT A FRICKIN SANDWICH IN PEACE?!

**Shulk Xeno has now blocked Pichu Pika.**

**Shulk Xeno set his Tag usability to only those he follows.**

**Bayonetta Vigrid has now blocked Pichu Pika.**

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: Thank the Stars... Man, I need a massage and a yoga class after that...

* * *

 **Lucina Ylisse (@LucinaY):** I officially have THE best dad in the ENTIRE Multiverse! Happy Fathers’ Day **@Chromium**!!!!!!

_Chrom Ylisse, Marth Marcellus, Princess Zelda and 79,483,056 others like this._

\---Princess Zelda: Father’s day? That’s today?

\---Lucina Ylisse: In our universe, yeah.

\---Chrom Ylisse: You’re the best daughter a dad could ever ask for. Love you sweetie

_Lucina Ylisse likes this._

\---Roy Eliwood: OH SHIT! I completely forgot!

\---Ike Greil: How could you forget???

\---Marth Marcellus: You’re so lucky you have a father. I wish I had mine still.

\---Ike Greil: Me too.

\---Roy Eliwood: I was busy, okay?!

\---Roy Eliwood: Happy Father’s Day **@Eli**!!! I’ll call you later!

_Eliwood Elbert likes this._

\---Eliwood Elbert: Looking forward to it son, miss you

\---Peach Toadstool: Your dad’s name is Eliwood? Isn’t that your last name?

\---Roy Eliwood: Our last names come from our dad’s first name by tradition. Marth’s family ditched the tradition a few generations ago while the Ylisse’s are weird. Ike’s family still does it tho

\---Peach Toadstool: So your future son’s last name will be Roy, makes sense

\---Roy Eliwood: Yeah, won’t happen, considering that’ll require having sex with a woman

\---Isabelle Canis: whats sex?

\---Lucina Ylisse: Uhh, nothing!

\---Isabelle Canis: fine ill google it

\---Lucina Ylisse: NO!!!!

\---Marth Marcellus: Oh God no...

\---Isabelle Canis: ok then what is it

\---Peach Toadstool: *sigh*

\---Peach Toadstool: Uhh, it’s when a man and a woman interact with each other.

\---Isabelle Canis: sounds fun! I wanna have sex with the Villagers

\---Peach Toadstool: umm, it’s best when the man and woman are married. Doesn’t work if they’re not married

\---Isabelle Canis: o ok

\---Lucina Ylisse: YOU’RE A LIFESAVER PEACH!!!

\---Chrom Ylisse: Agreed.

* * *

 **Incineroar Gaogaen (@Fire727):** … I’m scarred. I’m officially scarred! FOREVER!!! EVERYTHING in my life is a lie! I found a website full of yaoi and lemon-filled fanfictions about us Smashers! Worse, it’s all drawn and written by **@RockinOnett**!!!!!! What happened to that bouncy, happy, playful, innocent boy?!?!?! I want him back! Not this dark side of his!

_Ash Ketchum, Lucas Tazmil, Rosalina Starr and 149,473,209 people like this._

\---Luigi Mario: O_O!!! Rule... 34... Rule... 34... UGH!!!!!!!!!

\---Kirby Dyson: *scoots away*

\---Peach Toadstool: WTF?!?! I thought Ness was the cute, innocent one out of us!

\---Incineroar Gaogaen: EXACTLY **@Peachypie**!!!!!!

\---Wario Wario: I always knew allowing anime would lead down this path and these degenerates.

\---Ness Itoi: But I love what I write and draw! That’s mean **@Fire727**!

\---Incineroar Gaogaen: It’s disgusting! Especially that nude you drew of me! You really think it looks like that?! I mean, it’s enough where you can’t mistake me as a female, but still!

\---Ness Itoi: It’s not there for you though! It’s for my fans! And it’s beautiful!!

\---Incineroar Gaogaen: Ness! Just shut up before I tell **@TazmilianLuke** about the love story you wrote about the two of you!

\---Lucas Tazmil: Which one?

\---Incineroar Gaogaen: The one where you two were depressed, but you loved each other so you kissed!

\---Lucas Tazmil: Oh, that one? Heh heh. We wrote that together.

\---Incineroar Gaogaen: … … …

\---Incineroar Gaogaen: That’s enough Internet for the week... I hate this thing!

\---Lucas Tazmil: C’mon! We were only trolling when we wrote it!

* * *

**Roy “Chad” Koopa has changed his name to Roy Koopa.**

**Roy Koopa (@RoyIsRad):** I can’t hide it anymore!!! No more pretending with girls while I lived a secret life!

**Roy Koopa is now in a relationship with Roy Eliwood.**

_Roy Eliwood, Wendy O. Koopa, Ludwig von Koopa and 104,382,306 others like this._

\---Wendy O. Koopa: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???????????????????

\---Wendy O. Koopa: NO WONDER WHY DAD WAS SCREAMING!

\---Ludwig von Koopa: Seriously. You’d think he’d realize that he lives in 2019 where being LGBT is normal...

\---Catherine Birdo: I wish you luck, Roy. My family threw me out after I came out as trans.

\---Roy Eliwood: Whoa! Your dad found out?

\---Roy Koopa: ya, texted him that I’m gay and I’m dating you then I blocked his phone number so I didn’t see the response, but I'm coming to Pherae to stay with you!

\---Bowser Koopa: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU BETRAYED ME AND THE KOOPA BLOODLINE LIKE THIS YOU GAY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!

**Bowser Koopa has now blocked Roy Koopa.**

\---Roy Koopa: woop there it is

\---Roy Koopa: But I cant do a double life anymore

\---Roy Eliwood: Dude! Sweet! I’ll get everything ready here!

\---Ike Greil: I always wondered who you were texting. I’m happy for you, my dude.

\---Lucina Ylisse: This is actually so cute! You two are cute together!

\---Roy Eliwood: Aw thanks guys <3

* * *

 **King Boo (@BuigiMansion):** LMS Time! 1st person to LMS I’ll have your last name for a week. 2nd person I’ll write I Love You to your profile every day for a week. 3rd person to LMS I’ll answer ANY question!

_Honey Queen Bee, Marth Marcellus, Marx Nosyd and 587,482 others like this._

King Boo: Well the tribe has spoken...

**King Boo has changed his name to King Boo Bee.**

Lucina Ylisse: King... BOO BEE?! LMAO!

Daisy Flora: Might wanna check that combo, “Boo Bee”. XDDD

King Boo Bee: Shut up! Stop being immature, you child!

**King Boo Bee has changed his name to King Bee.**

King Bee: I’M KEEPING THIS!

* * *

**King Bee (@BuigiMansion) left a public message to Marth Marcellus (@LordAltea)**

King Bee: I love you!

_Marth Marcellus likes this._

* * *

**Ridley X** ( **@ZebesBadass** ): I like these LMS things lately, so let’s try one! Let’s write a story! But the twist: the last word of the sentence must be ONE letter different from the previous person’s: not more, not less! You can add or take out a letter from the previous word if you want, but it still counts! I’ll start!

\---Ridley X: In a blue sea, decorated by the breaking waves’ white...

\---Ludwig von Koopa: Where the sea’s vast emptiness stretches for quite a while.

\---Diddy Kong: There lived Big Bertha the Whale.

\---Chrom Ylisse: To strike it rich, she went to go off-shore oil drilling in the shale...

\---Kirby Dyson: She had a 30-day supply of food, but it all went stale.

\---Samus Aran: Luckily, Big Bertha the Whale had magic beans for a bean stalk.

\---Luigi Mario: To plant them, she dug up some sand and made a huge stack.

\---Meta Knight: Unfortunately, she could not keep up the slack.

\---Crazy Hand: So, in a disgusting turn of fate, she starved and EVERYTHING WENT BLACK!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

\---Daisy Flora: … Well, that was an anticlimatic and creepy ending.

\---King K. Rool: You went from White to Black! What opposites!

\---Ridley X: That’s what makes the game fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yoshi Dino is now engaged to Catherine Birdo.**

**Yoshi Dino (@DinoDude):** Love this girl **#engaged #weddingintwomonths**

_Peach Toadstool, Wendy O. Koopa, David “Snake” Solid and 73,293,493 others like this._

\---Catherine Birdo: YOSHI!!! I said don’t post it yet! I didn’t want to crash Zelda’s engagement!

\---Princess Zelda: CONGRATS!!!

\---Princess Zelda: Seriously? You didn’t share this because you thought you were gonna crash me? I’m proud for you, Birdo! You too, Yoshi!

\---Catherine Birdo: Yeah... It just seemed selfish. Sorry

\---Princess Zelda: Don’t be sorry, hun. I’m happy for you!

\---Luigi Mario: So that’s where Yoshi snuck off to after our meeting. To get you a ring

\---Catherine Birdo: He’s sweet isn’t he? I love him

\---Boshi Dino: hmm hmm! time to crash my evil twins wedding!

\---Catherine Birdo: Crash MY wedding and YOU will be dead meat!

\---Boshi Dino: oh yeah? wanna bet?

\---Catherine Birdo: You’re playing Russian Roulette here, bigshot!

\---Boshi Dino: At least I admit to being male! Unlike you, ladyboy.

_Wario Wario likes this._

\---Catherine Birdo: YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU LITTLE TRANSPHOBIC PIECE OF SHIT?! IF I COULD SEE YOU RIGHT NOW, I’D FUCKING PUNCH YOUR LIGHTS OUT!!!

\---Wario Wario: You’re forever a man, freak!

\---Catherine Birdo: Ugh! And it’s you, you piece of fat shit! Now sit your fat ass down on several extra seats cus I’ll give you an extra serving of reality instead of an extra serving of lasagna you obese shit!

\---Yoshi Dino: I love Birdo! Get off her!

\---Princess Zelda: Trust me. You do NOT want to see **@Pinkeggsflying** mad!

\---Roy Eliwood: JUNKYARD FIGHT! PLEASE! :D

\---Catherine Birdo: You know what, **@RoysOurBoy**... You have a point. **@BoshiDinosaur** & **@Bobomb13** , I’m challenging you two to a fight!

\---Roy Eliwood: YEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!

\---David "Snake" Solid: You just had to start a junkyard battle, didn’t you **@RoysOurBoy**?

\---Roy Eliwood: Of course!

\---Peach Toadstool: No! Birdo don’t do it! They’ll hurt you!

\---Catherine Birdo: Gee thanks for the vote of confidence prissy princess *rolls eyes*

\---Daisy Flora: No way! You got this Birdo! Gettem! <3

\---Catherine Birdo: Awwh, anything for you, Day <3

\---Wario Wario: Waaahaaahaaahaaa! Fight accepted sissy!

\---Boshi Dino: Yeah, lets kick its ass!

\---Catherine Birdo: I’m a HER!

\---Catherine Birdo: Friday at 6PM. Be there or be square. But at least square is a shape, something you aren’t, Wario

\---Bayonetta Vigrid: GUYS! Can we just have ONE nice post on Instamush without trolls?!

_Yoshi Dino, Catherine Birdo, Toad Kinopio and 38,283,402 others like this._

* * *

**Ash Ketchum (@CatchEmAll151):** Feeling idiotic. Tried breeding my two Clefairies for a month but it took me that long to realize I tried breeding two males. Like wtf I have every pokemon but I somehow made a rookie mistake

_Leaf Blade, Misty Waters, Ivysaur Fushigisou and 57,972,981 others like this._

\---Misty Waters: Ahh, Red Red Red... Red is the type of person who would try to breed a Cresselia. Great master, terrible breeder.

\---Ash Ketchum: Okay, YOU were trying to breed genderless legendaries! Be quiet!

\---Charizard Draconis: YEAH THAT’S FUNNY MASTERS TRY FORCING ME TO BE WITH OTHER GUYS TOO AND IM LIKE NO IM A LADYS KIND OF DRAGON

\---Ash Ketchum: Ok, I spent months hunting a female for you, so be quiet!

\---Charizard Draconis: I THINK SHE HATES ME IDK WHY MAYBE I DON’T SHOW OFF ENOUGH BUT IM A HIGHER LVL THAN THE OTHER GUYS SO IM ALL STRONG AND STUFF

\---Squirtle Zenigame: yea u were all strong and stuff when i squirted u little pussy

\---Charizard Draconis: I HATE WATER OK???????

\---Ash Ketchum: You know you dont have to talk in caps right??

\---Charizard Draconis: WHAT ARE CAPS IM TALKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD

\---Ash Ketchum: Dude...

* * *

**Falco Lombardi added a new video: Arwing flying footage**

**Falco Lombardi added a new poll: Who’s the better Arwing pilot (look at video)?**

**FINAL RESULTS:**

**Falco Lombardi: 492,349 (55.52%)**

**Fox McCloud: 394,389 (44.48%)**

**Total votes: 886,738 (100%)**

**Falco Lombardi (@StarPilot):** EXTREMELY IMPORTANT POLL! Help me settle this argument once and for all!

_Princess Zelda, Marth Marcellus, David “Snake” Solid and 928,392 others like this._

\---Princess Zelda: Definitely Team Falco here

_Falco Lombardi likes this._

\---Richter Belmont: Team Falco!!!

_Falco Lombardi likes this._

\---Simon Belmont: Gotta go with Fox on this one

\---Richter Belmont: I swear you always wanna go against me for no reason! EVERY TIME!

\---Simon Belmont: no, Fox had to save Falco once

\---Falco Lombardi: Uhh, I saved him too...

\---Simon Belmont: LIES!

\---Kirby Dyson: Team Falco!

_Falco Lombardi likes this._

\---Wario Wario: Bah! You both suck!

\---Donkey Kong: ignore **@Bobomb13,** you both are good but idk whos better, both better than me obvs

_Falco Lombardi likes this._

\---Falco Lombardi: Wario, how aren’t you banned for being a pathetic troll yet?

\---Lucario Aura: EXACTLY! I just got unbanned today for INNOCENT things, yet people like this freak run around!

\---Lucario Aura: Team Falco btw

_Falco Lombardi likes this._

\---Wario Wario: Oh look, Scrotum head's back! Waaahaaahaaa!!

\---Mewtwo Mew: Imagine going on Instamush to seek brownie points and likes. All of you are pathetic cretins who, among you all, cannot afford two brain cells to rub together. Lucario, for example. The testicle-like bandana strings possess more intellect than his pathetic canine skull.

\---Wario Wario: yup Mewtwo, they’re all stupid!

\--- Mewtwo Mew: Don’t pretend like we’re friends, you gargantuan yellow atrocity. They may possess intellectual dark matter, but you’re an intellectual black hole. 

\---Roy Eliwood: Junkyard fight?! **@Bobomb13 @TwoMews**?????????? 

\---Mewtwo Mew: Stop requesting fights from me, sodomite. I do not seek fights with worthless trash such as you or this Wario imbecile.

\---Falco Lombardi: CAN WE STOP TRYING TO ORGANIZE FIGHTS AND FOCUS ON MY POLL?! 

\---Roy Eliwood: You and Fox can settle it in the junkyard too!!! 

\---Falco Lombardi: Screw off Fire Emblem trash

* * *

**Douglas Captain Falcon (@FalconPunchF0):** man this heat wave’s killing! I want to turn on the AC and the fan but im worried they will blow the WIFI particles all across the room and I wont be able to connect to the internet

_Sonic Hedgehog, Lucina Ylisse, Bowser Koopa and 45,495 others like this._

\---Mewtwo Mew: … Are you serious? -_-

\---Douglas Captain Falcon: yes! I dont want my internet to go away!

\---Captain Olimar: WiFi are waves, not particles, idiot!

\---Ludwig von Koopa: Even if they were particles, this imbecile would prefer to suffer heat stroke for the sake of Internet connectivity than to utilize his HVAC...

_Captain Olimar, Mewtwo Mew, Wario Wario and 51,493,384 others like this._

* * *

**Wario Wario (@Bobomb13):** Everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom! Report **@EoE** to your local police department NOW! **#LawBreaker**

_Waluigi Wario likes this._

\---Larry Koopa: The hell you talking about?

\---Wario Wario: YOU DROVE OUR GETAWAY CAR AND YOU NEVER GAVE ME MY SHARE OF COINS THAT WE ROBBED FROM THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM CENTRAL BANK!

\---Larry Koopa: … I have no idea what you’re talking about. These coins are from Dad!

\---Wario Wario: YOU have the coins I stole!

\---Larry Koopa: No I don’t! Get off me, fatty!

\---Peach Toadstool: You’re seriously admitting to doing a crime on Instamush?

_Mario Mario, Yoshi Dino, Daisy Flora and 492,483,018 others like this._

\---Wario Wario: IT WAS LARRY’S IDEA!

\---Larry Koopa: I WASN’T INVOLVED IN ANYTHING DUMBASS!

\---Wario Wario: YES YOU WERE! You were the getaway driver, and you promised me 80 percent of the loot, but you took it all!

\---Wendy O. Koopa: Uhh... You should’ve known that Larry double-crosses everyone...

\---Roy Eliwood: JUNKYARD FIGHT?! **@Bobomb13 @EoE**

\---Wario Wario: FUCK OFF STUPID GINGER!

\---Roy Eliwood: Geez no need to be a bitch you fatfuck

\---Roy Koopa: JUNKYARD FIGHT????

\---Roy Eliwood: I teach him well ;)

\---Mewtwo Mew: Not you too, sodomite... Go be your pink gay self somewhere else.

\---Roy Koopa: you watch your fuckin mouth punk or I’ll put my fucking fist in it, bitch!

\---Mewtwo Mew: I bet. You have experience with putting your fists in other areas, pervert.

\---Roy Koopa: YOU KNOW WHAT?! LET’S STEP IN THE ARENA PUNK!

\---Mewtwo Mew: Ahh, you’re still a pathetic sack of uncontrolled testosterone, I see.

\---Roy Koopa: ACCEPT IT PUSSY! YOU’RE GETTING PUMMELED!

\---Mewtwo Mew: And why should I?

\---Larry Koopa: **@TwoMew** scared! **@TwoMew** scared! **@TwoMew** is a chicken! Bwuk-bwuk-bwuk!!!

_Roy Koopa, Roy Eliwood, Wendy O. Koopa and 702,859 others like this._

\---Mewtwo Mew: Sheesh, by Mother of Sweet Science, this place is a cesspool.

* * *

**King Bee (@BuigiMansion) left a public message to Marth Marcellus (@LordAltea)**

King Bee: I love you!

_Marth Marcellus likes this._

King Bee: Damn, 5 days to go.

* * *

**Goddess Palutena (@SkyworldGoddess):** Okay, there’s too much hate and drama on Instamush lately. Let’s spread some love! Compliment the poster above you about anything.

\---Pit Icarus: You’re a genius, Lady Palutena!

\---Goddess Palutena: Awwww! You’ve always been so loyal too!

\---Pit Icarus: ^_^

\---Lucina Ylisse: I really like your wings, dude!

_Pit Icarus likes this._

\---Mega Man: Youre cute and you sound like a fun person to be around

_Lucina Ylisse likes this._

\---Captain Olimar: I find it fascinating how you’re... For a cyborg... So human. That’s cool.

_Mega Man likes this._

\---Mewtwo Mew: You’re smart, unlike the 99 percent of the cretins here.

_Captain Olimar likes this._

\---Pit Icarus: KEEP ORDER ON LADY PALUTENA’S POST!

\---Mewtwo Mew: It’s a compliment, dorkbreath.

\---Pit Icarus: reported, hope you get banned

\---Mewtwo Mew: Ooooooh! You reported me! I’m scared! Go cry to your pathetic goddess, wuss.

\---Pit Icarus: Everyone report **@TwoMews** for his homophobic messages, trolling and insults!

\---Mewtwo Mew: How cute. You're forming a reporting brigade. How pathetic must you be?

**Goddess Palutena has now blocked Mewtwo Mew.**

**Pit Icarus has now blocked Mewtwo Mew.**

\---Goddess Palutena: This site is hopeless sometimes -_-


End file.
